It was a year ago during the presentation of The Thorn, an Easter play, at our church that my faith was taken to a different level. Even deep faith sometimes questions…. for me it was the question of “Am I silly to believe in God?”
The question came because life was once again difficult. I’ve come to learn that everyone has hardships in their life. No one is spared. Sometimes it just feels like too much, but I know that if life were easy we would never turn to God. I can’t even tell you the specific time frame or circumstances that caused me to have the question. For me it was a fleeting thought. I’m guessing because of my deep faith, because of other things God has done in my life. Still, I had the thought, I had the question.
I don’t hear from God often in what I would describe as a VERY clear definitive voice. Maybe I don’t sit still and listen enough. However, one year ago today sitting in a play watching the passion week being portrayed ….. the week that culminated in the crucifixion of Jesus, I heard three separate times “he will see Jesus soon”. Many things in the Bible happened three times or were three in number. I think it was three times so I would make that connection and truly know it was God speaking to me, not just my own mind.
“Soon” turned out to be 33 days later. I did some things to make sure he had visits with family, made decisions to keep him as comfortable as I could. Being able to do that is a bonus to having my faith confirmed, which gave me peace that passes understanding (just like that hymn of old). When those 33 days came to an end, I knew he was in the arms of Jesus and that I will see him again. It changes everything!
My “he will see Jesus soon” is like getting a hug, a wink, a pat on the back or a kiss on the cheek from God!
Many things in caring for an ill loved one or in going through a hardship of life, cause PTSD symptoms. It’s hard not to recall the memory and feel the devastation of the moment. It’s wonderful to have this memory, a memory that touched me in a way that nothing else could.
Father, may we ever trust our faith, because you are so faithful to us. We do not know the “why” of many things in life and if even if we did have the answer, it wouldn’t mean we would understand. I pray that we learn to listen better…. listen for the still small voice, Your voice in the Word and Your voice through our brothers and sisters in the faith. Amen
Grace Under Pressure 