In GriefShare they warn us that grief can come when you’re in the grocery store and suddenly you realize you don’t have to buy a particular food for your loved one any more. I haven’t personally experienced that and I think it’s because Rob and I had such similar tastes. Another reason might be because I have no reason to be in the Ensure isle and so it hasn’t come up, or possibly because Rob often stopped at the grocery store too.
Yesterday I was finally getting the dishes caught up and I reached in to get the soap, knocking a few things out of the cabinet as I did. One was something glass and I immediately thought “what was that?” Most soap and cleaning bottles aren’t glass. As I closed the dishwasher door there sat the glass container, and here came the tears. It was a jar from peaches I had bought for Rob, and I was using it to put grease in, on the rare occasion I have such a need.
It was so emotional because he loved peaches and he would tell me how he would get home from school and eat a whole quart of canned peaches.
I’ve been really busy lately and its easy to think you are living life to the fullest. Life is good! Don’t get me wrong life is good and living it to the fullest is the best way I can honor the love we had, because that is what he would want for me. But with great love comes great grief. Grief that is sitting in the recesses of everyday, waiting to remind you that life is very different. That you have a new normal. A new normal that comes with times of tears, healthy cleansing tears for what was.
John 11:35 Jesus wept. Jesus wept for Lazarus even though He knew He was going to raise him from the dead. Our Savior understand our grief.
Father, may we all understand the grief in our hearts is normal. Whether it’s because of the death of a loved one, the loss of “family” through divorce, loss of a job or even a special item, it is normal to have a huge range of feelings. It’s even normal to think that our feelings are in a good place, or under control and then be blindsided by them again. I’m thankful you understand our grief and are there with loving arms.
Grace Under Pressure 